Coffee Quotes Collection

Coffee Quotes and Sayings for Caffeinated Thinkers

Coffee literature is full of coffee quotes, quips, and anecdotes. They are the product of our passion for coffee, which expresses itself as extravagant poetic flights in praise of it. Napoleon called it “the intellectual drink” and La Roque “the King of Perfumes.”

Among the French literati, Voltaire was one of the most ardent devotees of this most stimulating drink. He reportedly consumed somewhere between 50-72 cups of coffee per day and lived to a ripe old age of 83! He, apparently, did not head his doctor’s counsel that his obsession with coffee would send him to an early grave. In fact, in reply to the blasphemous claim that coffee was a slow poison, Voltaire said: “I think it must be, for I’ve been drinking it for eighty-five years and am not dead yet.”

It was said of the other great Enlightenment philosopher, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, that when he died, “he just missed doing it with a cup of coffee in his hand.”

Following are some of my favorite famous (and even infamous) coffee quotes lovingly preserved for posterity. Let’s see how many “Cs” I can get into one sentence…

Coffee Confidential’s Carefully Curated Compendium of Coffee Quips and Quotes

Never Underestimate the Importance of Being Properly Caffeinated.

— Unknown

Winston Churchill and Nancy Astor Coffee Quote

Good Coffee – Cheaper than Prozac!

— Unknown

Coffee is a way of stealing time which should by rights belong to your older self.

— Terry Pratchett

No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.

— Sheik Abd-al-Kabir

To an old man a cup of coffee is like the door post of an old house — it sustains and strengthens him.

— Old Bourbon Proverb

Definition of Procaffeination

People say money can’t buy happiness. They Lie. Money buys Coffee, Coffee makes Me Happy!

— Unknown

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hairless cat, it exists, but that doesn’t make it right.

— Unknown

Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.

— Jonathan Swift, 1722

I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.

— Terri Guillemets

Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee.

— Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?

— Albert Camus

T. S. Eliot Coffee Quote

My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me.

— Unknown

Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed.

— Unknown

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

— Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Drinking beer in a coffee mug. I feel like I am cheating on my coffee.

— Unknown

Insert Coffee to Begin - Coffee Quotation

We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. Trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.

— Unknown

Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.

— Terri Guillemets

Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another coffee.

— Unknown

Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

— Unknown

I don’t know what I’d do without coffee. I’m guessing 25 to life.

— Unknown

Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.

— Earl Wilson

A 41-inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee – a lot more.

— Jayne Mansfield

Flash Rosenberg coffee quote

Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

— Anne Morrow Lindbergh

7 days without coffee makes one WEAK.

— Unknown

Caffeine — It maintains my sunny personality.

— Unknown

The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportional to the quantity of coffee he drank.

— Sir James MacKintosh

I’m going to start measuring the complexity of coding tasks in coffee cups. “This was a five-espresso algorithm.”

— Unknown

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

— Paul Erdos

Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven.

— Jessi Lane Adams

Decaf? No, it’s dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream.

— Unknown

Doctors found traces of blood in my coffee stream.

— Unknown

Did I run out of caffeine or are you really that boring?

— Unknown

Coffee Quote: I orchestrate my mornings to the time of coffee

If it wasn’t for coffee, I’d have no discernible personality at all.

— David Letterman

Compared to Clinton, I feel like a loser. I can’t even get the intern to make me coffee!

— David Letterman

Coffee which makes the politician wise, and see through all things with his half-shut eyes.

— Alexander Pope

I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism.

— Pemberley by the Sea, Abigail Reynolds

I like my coffee strong and my women weak.

— Alexander Pappas

Coffee. Creative lighter fluid.

— Floyd Maxwell

A morning without coffee is like sleep.

— Unknown

Every morning I long to hold you…I need you, I want you, I have to have you…your warmth, your smell, your taste…ohhh coffee, I love you.

— Unknown

Drink coffee! Do Stupid Things Faster with More Energy.

— Unknown

Coffee! Is the planet shaking or is just me?

— Unknown

How far behind would technology be, if no one ever discovered coffee?

— Unknown

I’m a romantic. I like cold Coffee and orgasms that arrive fifteen minutes after I’ve put on my clothes and paid the lady.

— Jarod Kintz

Even bad coffee is better… than no Coffee at all.

— David Lynch

Adventure in life is good… consistency in Coffee even better.

— Justina Headley, North of Beautiful

I like instant gratification. It’s like instant Coffee, only it won’t keep you up all night.

— Jarod Kintz

What do you want?… Just Coffee. Black – like my soul.

— Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless.

— Napoleon Bonaparte

Coffee Quote: Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed

I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

— Ronald Reagan

Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

— Bill Gates

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

class=”author”> — Bill Cosby

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

— Abraham Lincoln

A cup of gourmet coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent.

— Unknown

Adventure in life is good. Consistency in coffee even better.

— Justina Headley

A morning without coffee is like sleep.

— Unknown

Life’s too short to drink cheap coffee.

— Unknown

Everybody should believe in something. I believe I’ll have another coffee.

— Unknown

The road to success is paved in coffee.

— Unknown

This coffee tastes like mud! Well, it was ground this morning.

— Unknown

I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume.

— John Van Druten

There is no live without water. Because water is needed to make coffee.

— Unknown

To drink is human. To drink coffee is divine.

— Unknown

Given enough coffee I could rule the world.

— Unknown

A cup of coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent.

— Unknown

I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.

— Unknown

Drink Coffee. Do stupid things even faster with more energy.

— Unknown

Caffeine-The other Vitamin C.

— Unknown

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

— T. S. Eliot

Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.

— Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

You can tell when you have crossed the frontier into Germany because of the badness of the coffee.

— Edward VII

Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning.

— Unknown

Caffeine isn’t a drug, it’s a vitamin.

— Unknown

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.

— Alphonse Allais

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.

— Unknown

Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister.

— Bob Irwin

The first cup is for the guest, the second for enjoyment, the third for the sword.

— Old Arabic Saying

There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee.

— Rian Aditia

Deja Brew: The feeling that you’ve had this coffee before.

— Unknown

Politics now is rather like going into Starbucks for a coffee.

— Rory Bremner

I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.

— Burt Lancaster

I like cappuccino, actually. But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.

— David Lynch

Coffee in England is just toasted milk.

— Christopher Fry

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

— Eddie Izzard

Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep.

— Fran Drescher

COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled.

— Unknown

C:>http://COFFEE.COM error. Contact programmer J. Valdez.

— Unknown

C:\COFFEE.POT missing (A)bort (R)etry (F)all asleep?

— Unknown

I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge.

— Jennifer Lopez

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

— Jean Kerr

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

— Bill Cosby

"Given enough Coffee I could rule the world - quote

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

— Steven Wright

When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.

— Helen Hayes

Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.

— Edward Abbey

I hope you’ve enjoyed these coffee quotes as much as I have enjoyed compiling them.

Share them with your friends and let’s caffeinated the world for the better.
What’s your favorite coffee saying? Let me know below.

Join the Conversation

shares